uncertanties annoy me

i havent posted for alittle while...


a will address this issue when i dont have himework to do.

bad things = good?? :s

i should be doing physics homework now :/
i really shouldnt leave it all to the last minuit should i...

anyways, this was supposed to quite a good weekend, which i suppose it still has...
apart from my parents panicking half the family and making like a 4/5 hour drive at 10 at night becuse they thought i was dead or dying... Man they overreact some times,lets rewind a little, my parents were going to see my grandma in yorkshire for the weekend they told me not to go out as usaull but i did anyways, i went to ely with some freinds and when id just sat down to have some dinner my dad phones me, i answer after a few senconds or so the signal goes, so me being in a cant be bothered with them mood switch my phone off, this was abouts 6/7 and we enjoyed an eveining of disturbing films and hilarous wii games but at abouts half ten when were walking to the station i find out my parents are on there way home have got severall people out looking for me, contacted parents of my freinds panicked my sister into coming home from a party, all because my phone cut out on them D:

they didnt get back till lateso i went to bed, in the morning we had a little chat, i told them i didnt want to be a christian {no idea how that got brought into it lol] but instead of there being a massive argument we end up going to kingslyn to do a bit of shopping and have a pizza hut :s not the reaction i was expecting.


but onto more important things, I bought a spyglass [the little telescope type things] and its actually amazing, its got brilliant magnification, the image is crystal clear (as long as you know how to get it n focus :] ) and it looks Awsome!!

well that lasted long.....



anyways, i shall remain the optimist and simply continue forward, i only have two lessons left in which ive yet to have a proper conversation with someone lol, though its mostly work that gets discussed...
ive met new people and getting along well with a great group of people who are genrally the suaght that i could become good freinds with, so all s good there :]

And theres this guy that looks and dresses like david tennant's docter who :D
i so have to talk to him, he sometimes hangs around with the group of people i was just talking about, so all is good :]


on a slightly different subject, i have no idea what so ever about what im going to do at uni, i dont think my GCSE's are good enough for cambridge or oxford, and i have no idea what career i want to do so i dont know what courses to be looking at, idealy what i want is something in science as in physics or possibly chemistry, but i allso want to travel as in be outdoors not stuck inside, but there doesnt seem to be any careers that do this, the closest thing ive been able to find is forestry but theres not really any physics or a great amount new stuff to come up with in that field :/ so any suggestions would be much apprecited :]

quite primodial

should i worried that just moments ago i ran half way down my garden and stood staring to the horizon with thoughts of simply running through the plants and tree's like a wolf would run to its den?
but something stopped me, im not quite sure what, i felt like my mind had reverted to some beastile form and iin that moment i couldve simply ran to the wilderness and lived as our ancestors once did, but quite obviously as im writing this, i didnt do that, and now im pondering why?

most probally its the thought of abonding everyone that cares about me, but other that i dont think i have reaosn for it...

neglect.

there are some parts of my life ive been neglecting, and this should never happen, to the people that feel as though i mustve forgotten them i say sorry and hope to be forgiven, ive been focused on the destination of my life when i should simply be enjoying the journey...



its not just education that needs effort, i plan to make some ripples along this path of mine, so make sure your there to ride the waves

im not an optimist ¬¬

i can no longer be bothered to pretend im something im not in front of my parents, ill be nice and reveal things slowly, but basically i plan to be more myself around them, theyll proberly just think ive changed and start to shout at me, but maybe theyll come to terms with it all...

new things are great, id been stuck at school for too long, now its time for college, theres noone i know in any of my classes so i can only be judged on the way i look and act, and thats just fine by me, i can relax, theres a thousand new people around me, if i become hated it just gives me more time to work, if people actually like me then i can enjoy my time and have enthusiasm for my studys, so all i have to fear is failing the A levels, but as you only need 85% to get an A in a/s and that conveys to an E in A2 without any further study, i dont think im going to have any trouble.. University, hear i come :]

as the cats leg dangles from the back of the sofa

well long seems like it will be interesting, new classes, new teachers, new people, but what else can i say, its college, its a higher level of education and a more advanced social circle that prepares you for univerity or working life

personally, i am becoming more orginized already, ive started little projects like making a decrotive staff and a copper pendant. im planning ahead and am beging to see where i may actualy go in my career... its a scary thought but i think i may actually become a proffesor, proballly just for a little while...

this wil be a short post as i can feel sad things rising in my head, so i must sleep, less they will huant me so.

i woke up at 3 today, not good, but i went to an explorers meeting, and it was good to get out the house :] so know i will get myself into a routine, and get myself fit physically and mentally especially as its only three days till i start Long D:

at the moment i seem to be stuck in limbo again...

i have the ambition, and the motivation is in the post, now all i need is the effort.

*sniffs* Ahhhh... Bisto!

theres good news and bad news:

Bad news, i have abouts 5 hours of sumerwork to do before thursday, and abouts two months of revision and practice to catch up on (n) so not good


Good news, went to long road today, and succesfully enrolled in all my courses (y)
mine mutter had given me money to get the train but i got a lift last mituite instead, so i wass like ooo yay gained £6 but then we all went to subway so i spent it there lol, i didnt really get that much for my money tho :/ but i havent lost anything so cant complain lol


i seem to be growing further and further away from my parents... but to be honest when i get to envolved in there doings it just enrages me, so its probally for the best, and once i start at long ill barely ever see them lol

tis cold in hear... or maybe its beacuse im topless but still, i am going to try and watch the nightmare before christmas and then to bed :]

headphones in, parents voices out.