The mind is a maze like thing

I have an aim, a goal, but it is not my life. my life is the journey to get to there, it doesnt matter if i dont get there, but ill die for this dream even if its simple and unasuming to all of you it doesnt matter its my dream and ill fight to the death for it. So shout me down, luagh at me, fight me, i dont care i dont need your approvell, but hurt freinds, stop me from walking this path, and i wont let you, I WILL FIGHT YOU!

That is the kind of man i am, why im telling you all this i dont really know



I think people say sorry to easily, its only ment to be said as something meanigfull, to show that you regret the action you took and that these were not your intentions for this to happen, but now people say it just to make people feel better, this is wrong, do not apoligise if it was your intention for it to happen, or if it was nothing to do with you!

Not many people seem to aprecite beauty anymore, or even understand its true meaning, everything seems so dull and repeitive and just because somethings shiny doesnt mean its not dull. When i talk of something bright and shining it is beauty in its wildest from, it captures your eyes and all of your mind is in wonder, you dont just think "Ooo, thats pretty". You stare for as long as you can see it and long after its gone, and even then your mind stilll holds the image, you try to see it all but you know you never can, and youll remember it for allways, that is when something can be called Beautifull. There are two truly beatufull things to me, one is the sky, always changing its shape and colour

Death is something so many people fear, but i ask why?
we should be gratefull we have death, it is the one certainty we have in this life, so why try to change why fear it, why hate it, when its are reason for living. we live so we are not dead, dont we?
Or do we? is there a greater purpose? I dont know, but i do know what im living for, and its not death, its joy and Beauty, and a dream,And all of this is not a reason to avoid death, its a reason to live, death is something i look forward too, its a question and i like to find answers. So im going to head straight on aiming higher and higher, ill get to where i want to be, an dif i die trying? well at least i tryed :]

After death? who knows, i dont! and im not really concered with it, if i to be judged the nlet it be so, if i am to truly die, if im to be rencarnated if i am to wander for ever, let it all be so.
but the point i want to make is that it doesnt what people say will happen, its just what you beleive will happen, its a blank canvas, know one knows what it will become, and only you can paint its picture

Life is for living, so im going to conquer my fears, leap into the unkown and embrace it all with a smile on my face!

I has found mien self a university, its not top grade but then again i would never get get to grades, my courses have a BC 300 points requirement so i should be able to manage that quite well, i just need to put a little push into the maths and physics this year, but then agian we hath coursework and actuall interesting topics so it wil be much better plus my attitude has changed a lot since i started college. im hoping to study Astrophysics and computer science at Keele university. i dont quite know why but i seem to have fallen in love with the idea of going there, so it should be great fun and im truly looking forward to it.

now onto more present matters, college is... well were not realy doing much, were supossed to be doing A2 stuff, but there were only five people in maths, and half a class in computing and some of the stuff were learning is completly pointless e.g. in chemistry we are currently studying the LAST topic of A2

I went to party yesterday :] well more of smal social gathering type thing, but it was some great fun, luaghing at cat being drunk (tis quite amusing, she be lightweight) And though fun skinny dipping in an unheated outdoor pool be a tad cold :p

I has decided to grows my hair somewhat longer.

that's all for now folks ;]